Excerpt from The Strawberry & the Kaiser

DAISY: I’m here!

(MARTHA and MINNA are speechless)

DAISY (cont’d): Sprechen zee English?

MINNA: The  maid let you in.

DAISY: Thank God! I swear, no one in this town even speaks German. Whenever I try to talk to them, they look at me like I just escaped from the nuthouse–which, in a way, I did.

MINNA: And where is it you believe you have arrived?

DAISY: Isn’t this the Freud residence? 19 Berggasse Street, Vienna–Austria?

MARTHA: This is the home of Dr. Sigmund Freud.

DAISY: And Anna?

MARTHA: Anna?

DAISY: I’ve come here to be psychoanalyzed by Anna Freud.

(MARTHA and MINNA are dumbfounded)

DAISY (cont’d): Didn’t she get my letter? What am I saying? Of course she got it–she wrote back. It’s here somewhere.

(finding the letter tucked into her bra; reading the letter:)

“Dear Miss Davenport,”–that’s me–“I am flattered and honored by your unexpected letter in praise of my article. I beg you to understand that I myself am not a psychoanalyst, and that Dr. Freud is not currently receiving new patients, as he has recently undergone surgery. With greatest regards, Anna Freud.”

 MARTHA: So you’ve come.

MINNA: And what did you take my niece’s letter to signify?

 DAISY: I figured it was her super modest, extra polite European way of inviting me to come here so she can cure me of my illness.

MINNA: From which portion of her letter did you derive this subtle yet complex subtext?

DAISY: Oh…“flattered”…“honored”…“I beg you”…that sort of thing.

(ANNA enters from the office)

DAISY (cont’d): Anna! I’m thrilled to finally meet you!

MINNA: The letter.

DAISY: Look! Real Viennese chocolates! I got them especially for you.

ANNA: You are Miss Davenport of Boston, Massachusetts?

DAISY: See? I told them you knew I was coming!

ANNA: Won’t you please sit down, Miss Davenport.

DAISY: Daisy—please!

ANNA: This is my mother, Frau Freud.

DAISY: Pleased to meet you. It must be fascinating being married to a genius. I’ve read all of Dr. Freud’s books.

MARTHA: My husband’s books are not proper reading for a well-bred young lady.

 ANNA: Aunt Minna.

DAISY: How lovely! I’m certain to be someone’s maiden old aunt one day. But I could never live with my sister–we’d probably end up poisoning each other.

MINNA: And where will you be staying?

DAISY: Oh, yes, well, I thought maybe Anna could suggest something.

 ANNA: You must join us for supper, of course ….

DAISY: Goodie!

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